Tuesday, September 29, 2009

When the Hell Did Psychotic Become a Political Party?

I’m not sure when paranoid psychosis became a legitimate voting bloc, but after reading more details about the How To Take Back America Conference, I’m pretty sure opposing drug use in the 1960’s must have caused brain damage. How the hell did so many people get so disconnected from reality and why are they so damn proud of it?

Granted, most of them are the same people who think the Adam’s family fed carrots to velociraptors until Eve started chatting up a tree snake (Go figure! You couldn’t swing a dead cat in Eden without hitting a friendly reptile and she managed find the only one with a hidden agenda!), but still, how can anyone seriously think that any US President could simultaneously turn the nation into Nazi Germany AND the Soviet Union? And how could that be one of the sanest things discussed at the conference?

Michelle Bachman, the goddess of truth and rationality (on Planet Wackoloonie) addressed the group. I don’t know what she said, but even if I had heard her, I doubt I would know what the hell she was talking about. The fact she was invited to speak is sufficient evidence that these people are out of their freaking minds.

Phyllis Schlafley, the woman who eschewed traditional female roles to make a career out of demonizing women that eschew traditional female roles, told a packed house “…that the feminist movement is the most dangerous, destructive force in our society today.” [...] I’m talking about drugs, sex, illegitimacy, drop outs, poor grades, run away, suicide, you name it, every social ill comes out of the fatherless home. Oddly enough, she seems not to have provided any statistical evidence to support her statements, but I suppose info from such a credible source stands on its own merits. Afterwards, Mike Huckabee presented her with the “American Hero of the Century” award. It wasn’t stated for which century the award was given, but I’m guessing the 17th.

Other highlights of the conference were calls to reclaim all the civil rights that have been taken away from upper-middle-class white protestants (WTF?), calls to be ready for armed insurrection against the legitimately elected government if they try to take over the legitimately elected government, and calls to fight to insure freedom of religion, as long as that religion is evangelical Xian and that those rights include suppression of all other beliefs, by violence if necessary (or if no one gets caught doing the violence, because the Prince of Peace hates it when righteous Xians go to prison for murder and stuff).

On the one hand I think a golden opportunity was missed during the conference to build a big fence around the whole bunch for the protection of the human race. On the other hand I think it’s nice that all these people got a weekend off from their normal routine of electro-shock therapy and straitjackets.

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